Tomorrow it will be one month since my surgery. In my dream last night I was clothed in a heavy coat, trying to get up into a tall vehicle, and unable to lift my leg to get in. Over and over I tried, like we get sometimes with our pajamas or nightgowns caught up in sheets and too sleepy to figure out how to untangle ourselves. So that’s how it felt in my dream–like I couldn’t go forward, couldn’t get up in that car that was going to take me somewhere. I was stuck. I woke up, trying to get oriented. The house was quiet, as I had slept in really late and my husband had gone. I stumbled into the shower and began to cry. Why is it that tears come so easily these days? The doctor said it will take six to eight weeks to recover from surgery and I’m only at week four. So I guess I can expect some of this. It just drives me crazy, that’s all. I just want to be me again, an impossible wish.
But as I dressed, still teary, I asked myself that question I do sometimes when I’m in a stuck space: What do you want to have accomplished by the end of this day? What do you want to have done?
I don’t ever need to write it down, because it’s only one thing I have to identify. And today, I wanted to have the Valentine Quilt sewn together.
And just knowing that pulled me into my studio, got me sewing the little white squares on the end of red strips, cutting, ironing, and what you see is up on the pin wall at 2:00 p.m.–leaving me the rest of the afternoon to sew it together.
The original is 64″ square–and 8 by 8 square quilt. I just need mine to hang up in the hallway, so I went with six by six. That will leave me some extra squares to make some pillows to throw on beds.
UPDATE: I drew up some loose instructions and have it for you at its new home: Revisiting the Red & White Pinwheel.
So, the bottom line is I made it through my funk. I climbed up into that imaginary car today — bum leg and all — and got going. I dried my tears, straightened my shoulders and began sewing the cloth together. Like I imagine hundred of other quilters have done before me, in good times and bad.
OccasionalPiece--Quilt! 
Oh, I am so sorry that you are struggling. I hope you feel a little better every day!
That quilt is amazing!! Well done! Way to unstick yourself!
It’s so inconceivable that you can produce something so beautiful when you are in a “funk.” I’m so impressed and love, love, love the red and white. An afterthought: a lot of good can happen in the next two weeks. Hang in there.
Create. What a good way to deal with whatever ails you. There is therapy both in control over form and in the wonderful serendipity of emerging pattern and design. Well done.
The quilt looks absolutely stunning. Go you. Nothing like a bit of accomplishment to help chase away a case of the blues. You’ll be yourself again, soon.
aww – excellent result from a rotten start of the day – just the act of ‘straightening of the shoulders’ provides that much needed resolve to ‘get on with it’ – brilliant – i am woman, hear me roar!
i do hope you get through the surgery trauma as quickly as possible – take care of you
The best part of my day yesterday was visiting with you on the phone. Meeting you in person last week, knowing that we share so many common bonds, and that our love of quilting was what started it all.
I love your quilt. And the last two sentences of this post are absolutely true. This has been the case for generations. When I was pregnant with my youngest (now almost 17) the doctor told me I would probably lose the baby. Making a baby quilt throught tears and worry gave me the strength to make it through that trying time.
I love the quilt, it is so cheerful! And I hope you will feel better and better, and that you can be patient along the way, creating and resting as you need to.
Very nice.